As I sat in my recliner yesterday evening, feeling like a gastric time-bomb and fearing for my family’s olfactory safety, I once again realized that I’m a very lucky guy. I don’t have a lot of bad in my life, just sometimes in my head. But I felt a bit melancholy, primarily because of the people who are gone from my life.
Both my parents passed away a few years ago and although they passed a few years apart, both died in the late fall. This gives the season an air of sadness. The feeling lessens as the years go by, but I don’t think –nor would I want – it to go away completely. However weird it may sound, the feeling is a tie to my folks and I don’t want to lose any ties, tangible or intangible.
My oldest brother also passed away a couple of years ago and though he obviously didn’t plan it, he died toward the end of June. The melancholy is there a bit when June rolls around, but when you’re being hit with a lot of sunshiny weather the feeling doesn’t seem as intense.
Two people I know lost loved ones in the past week. One lost her mother and another lost her son. My heart goes out to both. I can’t help but wonder what their future Thanksgivings will be like. How do you give thanks at a time of year when that kind of loss occurred? I lamely told one friend that, although there is a hole in her heart that will never be completely gone, to allow her loved ones the attempt to fill it. I’m not the smartest man in the world, but I do know that when someone suffers a loss, others hurt for them. To deny those who love you the chance to try and be of comfort to you hurts them even more.
I’ve been on both sides of that fence.
Of course, the gray weather of the season doesn’t help. There are many who suffer from seasonal depression or are diagnosed as depressives. This time of year only heightens the intensity of that difficulty.
In the end, I guess I just want to say that for many, this time of year makes for some melancholy holidays. If someone you encounter isn’t filled with the thrill and joy of the season, realize they probably have a very valid reason. Use empathy and allow them their mood or, if you can, reach out to them even more.
Thanks to all of you who frequent my little website and who have read and commented on things I’ve written. It’s the people –even those we don’t physically see – who instill the humanity in the season and in our lives. I appreciate and am thankful to you all.